TuesGay Spotlight: Sarcastically Ever After Podcast
Have you ever met a couple and found them to be eerily similar to you and your significant other? That's how I feel when I listen to the "Sarcastically Ever After" Podcast. N and A are a married couple and they just crack me up (Not sure what that says about my ego since I admitted that they are a lot like my wife and I). Whether they are talking about current events or pregnancy cravings, it's hilarious. If you haven't listened to their podcast yet, make sure you listen to it RIGHT NOW (or you can wait until after you read this. Just make sure it happens).
I decided to ask both of them some questions about their relationship. Neither one of them knows what the other person answered. Let the laughs ensue!
When/where did you meet?
N: We met online on plenty of fish. I messaged A to get to know her, we ended up texting back and forth for maybe a couple of weeks before she asked me to get drinks as our first date.
A: My house
Describe your first date
N: A and I were supposed to get drinks after work, and we lived about an hour and a half away at the time. So I’m almost to the city she lives in when I get a text saying she had the longest day at work – and as I’m thinking she is going to cancel our date, she asks if I just want to go to her home instead. To her credit she did ask me if I was an axe murderer before I came over. I was so stupid I did not think to ask her if she was one, after I assured her I was not. So. Amazing I’m still alive really.
A: N tried to convince me what a legit gamer she was, and really throw down hard that she’d never give it up, though nobody was asking her to.
Who said I love you first?
N: Okay, technically I said it first, in Arabic. She thinks she can confirm this, but she doesn’t speak Arabic so, ITS HER WORD AGAINST MINE AND I’M STICKING TO MY STORY THAT MAYBE I SAID IT FIRST AND MAYBE I DIDN’T. In English, she did.
A: I said it first in English. Her chicken ass said it first in Arabic.
Describe the proposal/engagement
N: Well I’m not a very romantic person, and I knew I wanted to be the one to propose because A has always been the romantic one that did the big gestures in our relationship. So, I took her to Spain and proposed to her on a beach there. Mind you, a couple months prior we had gotten into a huge fight because she started talking about proposing and I panicked, because I’d already bought the ring, so I went off about how we weren’t close to ready for that level of commitment in our relationship and that we should reconsider once I was done with graduate school (I was almost about to complete my first year of a two-year program). So when I took her by the hand to the beach and started pouring my heart out, she kept being distracted by literally everything else on the beach but what I was saying as I tried to propose, because she legit didn’t think I would ever do it. I had to actually say BABE CAN YOU BRING IT IN FOR A MINUTE PLEASE? Anyway I pulled the ring out of my purse and she literally fell to her knees. It was pretty sweet once she actually figured out what was happening.
A: On a beach somewhere…can’t quite remember. But there was this giant doghouse on a six foot pole. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. I wish you guys could see it, but they’ve taken it down now.
What is your wife’s weirdest/most annoying habit? What do you think she would say yours is?
N: How she holds stuff with her feet. I’m not kidding. She has hands for feet. We were putting a futon together the other night, and she legit was holding a piece up with her toes. It was…. Weird. Impressive. But weird.
A: She. Is. A. Squirrel. She’s constantly eating seeds of every type, and I’m constantly finding them buried in the couch cushions for the winter. I’m obviously not annoying or weird in any way.
Who usually “wins” in an argument?
N: I do. If winning means going into another room and playing video games. Then I def win.
A: I always win, she just never agrees.
Who is the more positive out of the two of you?
N: Me. Hands down no competition. We can’t leave from the house to the first light without A having massive road rage.
A: She wears her rose colored glasses everywhere.
What is our favorite thing to do together?
N: Travel! We have such a blast together. I’m super organized so I always get us where we need to go and A has such an awesome sense of adventure and she’s down for the ride. We make great travel companions and have been fortunate to go to some great places together.
A: Spend quality time without phones.
What was your favorite part of your wedding day?
N: When we were in Hawaii, after we had the ceremony and we ate and danced Hula, the sun was beginning to set so we went out to take a few photos. There was a giant blow hole and A and I stood by it for a few minutes until predictably, it shot up and totally soaked us. I just remember holding her and laughing and we were surrounded by family and friends and that’s just one of the best moments of all time.
A: Being her wife. Plus Hawaii. Did I mention Hawaii?
Who is the better cook?
N: 100% A. She is a great cook and I am truly trash in the kitchen. I usually just help her by chopping stuff up. Or asking her what she means when she says chop versus mince. Like who knows these things? WHY DOES SHE ASK ME AS IF THESE ARE TERMS EVERYONE KNOWS?
A: Me. I’m Gordon MFkin Ramsey. Not really, but it’ll do.
What is the craziest thing you have ever done together?
N: Go to Japan. When neither of us spoke the language. Or had any idea what we were doing lol.
A: Matching tattoos. JK. She won’t. She had a stroke when I asked her to, when we were at a lesbian bar in Berlin. Nothing, she lame.
Who is your biggest celebrity crush? Who is your wife’s biggest celebrity crush?
Watch the podcast to find out the answer to this!
If you met your celebrity crush, would you want to be given a free pass? Would you allow your wife to have a “free pass” if she met her celebrity crush?
Watch the podcast to find out the answer to this!
Who does more of the cleaning?
N: Pre pregnancy, A. Post pregnancy, me. I think she is making up for the past 5 years of us being together by making me do everything now. So. This has been fun. I had no idea I shed this much. Jesus. How am I not bald by now? I have no fucking idea. Also, we have 3 cats. THREE CATS. Two catboxes. You do the math. Its not pretty.
A: We hired a cleaning lady. She saved our marriage. Dear everyone, get a cleaning person. Though I still do tidy more, nobody cleans.
Physically, what is your favorite thing about your wife? What is your wife’s favorite thing about you?
N: She has the most spectacular ass. Especially in a pair of Jeans. My goodness. Like. She doesn’t miss leg days, you know? Just. Phew. Is it hot in here? Its hot in here. I think A’s favorite thing physically would be my boobs. By far my best feature haha.
A: Her Jumbos as I call them. Obvi. In all seriousness though, she has beautiful eyes that are always changing color depending on just how annoyed with me she is. Her favorite thing about me has got to be how useful my feet are for holding things when we run out of hands.
Who is the more sappy/sentimental of the two of you?
N: A. She’s way kinder to me than I deserve probably. Also, she cries at any and every animal video. Just. Doesn’t matter what its about. Dog licking whipped cream off its nose? Cries. Abandoned dog gets rescued? Sobs. Cat just meowing, for no reason? Tears. Just because.
I decided to ask both of them some questions about their relationship. Neither one of them knows what the other person answered. Let the laughs ensue!
When/where did you meet?
N: We met online on plenty of fish. I messaged A to get to know her, we ended up texting back and forth for maybe a couple of weeks before she asked me to get drinks as our first date.
A: My house
Describe your first date
N: A and I were supposed to get drinks after work, and we lived about an hour and a half away at the time. So I’m almost to the city she lives in when I get a text saying she had the longest day at work – and as I’m thinking she is going to cancel our date, she asks if I just want to go to her home instead. To her credit she did ask me if I was an axe murderer before I came over. I was so stupid I did not think to ask her if she was one, after I assured her I was not. So. Amazing I’m still alive really.
A: N tried to convince me what a legit gamer she was, and really throw down hard that she’d never give it up, though nobody was asking her to.
Who said I love you first?
N: Okay, technically I said it first, in Arabic. She thinks she can confirm this, but she doesn’t speak Arabic so, ITS HER WORD AGAINST MINE AND I’M STICKING TO MY STORY THAT MAYBE I SAID IT FIRST AND MAYBE I DIDN’T. In English, she did.
A: I said it first in English. Her chicken ass said it first in Arabic.
Describe the proposal/engagement
N: Well I’m not a very romantic person, and I knew I wanted to be the one to propose because A has always been the romantic one that did the big gestures in our relationship. So, I took her to Spain and proposed to her on a beach there. Mind you, a couple months prior we had gotten into a huge fight because she started talking about proposing and I panicked, because I’d already bought the ring, so I went off about how we weren’t close to ready for that level of commitment in our relationship and that we should reconsider once I was done with graduate school (I was almost about to complete my first year of a two-year program). So when I took her by the hand to the beach and started pouring my heart out, she kept being distracted by literally everything else on the beach but what I was saying as I tried to propose, because she legit didn’t think I would ever do it. I had to actually say BABE CAN YOU BRING IT IN FOR A MINUTE PLEASE? Anyway I pulled the ring out of my purse and she literally fell to her knees. It was pretty sweet once she actually figured out what was happening.
A: On a beach somewhere…can’t quite remember. But there was this giant doghouse on a six foot pole. Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. I wish you guys could see it, but they’ve taken it down now.
What is your wife’s weirdest/most annoying habit? What do you think she would say yours is?
N: How she holds stuff with her feet. I’m not kidding. She has hands for feet. We were putting a futon together the other night, and she legit was holding a piece up with her toes. It was…. Weird. Impressive. But weird.
A: She. Is. A. Squirrel. She’s constantly eating seeds of every type, and I’m constantly finding them buried in the couch cushions for the winter. I’m obviously not annoying or weird in any way.
Who usually “wins” in an argument?
N: I do. If winning means going into another room and playing video games. Then I def win.
A: I always win, she just never agrees.
Who is the more positive out of the two of you?
N: Me. Hands down no competition. We can’t leave from the house to the first light without A having massive road rage.
A: She wears her rose colored glasses everywhere.
What is our favorite thing to do together?
N: Travel! We have such a blast together. I’m super organized so I always get us where we need to go and A has such an awesome sense of adventure and she’s down for the ride. We make great travel companions and have been fortunate to go to some great places together.
A: Spend quality time without phones.
What was your favorite part of your wedding day?
N: When we were in Hawaii, after we had the ceremony and we ate and danced Hula, the sun was beginning to set so we went out to take a few photos. There was a giant blow hole and A and I stood by it for a few minutes until predictably, it shot up and totally soaked us. I just remember holding her and laughing and we were surrounded by family and friends and that’s just one of the best moments of all time.
A: Being her wife. Plus Hawaii. Did I mention Hawaii?
Who is the better cook?
N: 100% A. She is a great cook and I am truly trash in the kitchen. I usually just help her by chopping stuff up. Or asking her what she means when she says chop versus mince. Like who knows these things? WHY DOES SHE ASK ME AS IF THESE ARE TERMS EVERYONE KNOWS?
A: Me. I’m Gordon MFkin Ramsey. Not really, but it’ll do.
What is the craziest thing you have ever done together?
N: Go to Japan. When neither of us spoke the language. Or had any idea what we were doing lol.
A: Matching tattoos. JK. She won’t. She had a stroke when I asked her to, when we were at a lesbian bar in Berlin. Nothing, she lame.
Who is your biggest celebrity crush? Who is your wife’s biggest celebrity crush?
Watch the podcast to find out the answer to this!
If you met your celebrity crush, would you want to be given a free pass? Would you allow your wife to have a “free pass” if she met her celebrity crush?
Watch the podcast to find out the answer to this!
Who does more of the cleaning?
N: Pre pregnancy, A. Post pregnancy, me. I think she is making up for the past 5 years of us being together by making me do everything now. So. This has been fun. I had no idea I shed this much. Jesus. How am I not bald by now? I have no fucking idea. Also, we have 3 cats. THREE CATS. Two catboxes. You do the math. Its not pretty.
A: We hired a cleaning lady. She saved our marriage. Dear everyone, get a cleaning person. Though I still do tidy more, nobody cleans.
Physically, what is your favorite thing about your wife? What is your wife’s favorite thing about you?
N: She has the most spectacular ass. Especially in a pair of Jeans. My goodness. Like. She doesn’t miss leg days, you know? Just. Phew. Is it hot in here? Its hot in here. I think A’s favorite thing physically would be my boobs. By far my best feature haha.
A: Her Jumbos as I call them. Obvi. In all seriousness though, she has beautiful eyes that are always changing color depending on just how annoyed with me she is. Her favorite thing about me has got to be how useful my feet are for holding things when we run out of hands.
Who is the more sappy/sentimental of the two of you?
N: A. She’s way kinder to me than I deserve probably. Also, she cries at any and every animal video. Just. Doesn’t matter what its about. Dog licking whipped cream off its nose? Cries. Abandoned dog gets rescued? Sobs. Cat just meowing, for no reason? Tears. Just because.
A: I think I’m more inherently sentimental, but N always works very hard to consider me, my feelings, and our family dynamic.
When did you realize that your wife was “the one?”
N: Before I met A, I had gotten out of a relationship that really broke my heart. My gf at the time cheated on me with a friend and I was pretty devastated. We were living together at the time, I had to move in with my sister until I could find my own place and was just not in a trusting place. I told A when we first started dating that I didn’t believe in the first 6 months of dating. That as fun as it was, it was all hormones and that we would know 6 months in if we actually liked each other and wanted to give a relationship a go. A just nodded and said she understood. Well, I wasn’t keeping track of how long we were dating, but 6 months in she got me a card and a gift (it was a necklace with a heart charm on it). Her message was simple. It was 6 months, and she was sure she wanted to be with me, but understood if I needed more time and/or wasn’t sure I wanted to be in a relationship yet. She didn’t pressure me or expect anything, she just wanted me to know she was all in if I was interested. It was game over after that. A year later I proposed, and a year after that we were married.
A: When I watched her wipe the floor with my friends when they were playing pool. It was still fairly early, but I didn’t question it for a moment after that. She was my green ball in the something pocket I know nothing about pool. Abort. Abort.
What gift did you give your wife on your first Christmas together? What did she give you?
N: We aren’t Christmas people – but for our first anniversary I got her a PS4, and she got me jewelry I believe – earrings? Gosh. It’s been a while. We aren’t huge gift givers, we usually end up taking trips for special occasions now which is great.
A: Fuck if I know. I got her some nerd stuff. X-men complete editions, Mario lights, one of those types of things. She got me a Keurig when we were dating. And the next year I got a PS4. I’m making out like a bandit.
If your wife had a superhero power, what would it be? What would your power be?
N: Super strength. She is already super strong – and she was a ballerina when she was younger, her calves are still unreal to this day. But def that, super strength. Mine would be flight. I would love nothing more than to soaaaaar.
A: Being good all the time. Uncorruptable and Always Compassionate woman to save the day! Mine would be super strength. Or the ability to talk to animals. Can I just have both? I feel like I can pull off a hero with some depth.
What three words would you use to describe your wife?
N: Intelligent, Witty, and Affectionate
A: Compassionate, Driven, Acts with Integrity
When did you realize that your wife was “the one?”
N: Before I met A, I had gotten out of a relationship that really broke my heart. My gf at the time cheated on me with a friend and I was pretty devastated. We were living together at the time, I had to move in with my sister until I could find my own place and was just not in a trusting place. I told A when we first started dating that I didn’t believe in the first 6 months of dating. That as fun as it was, it was all hormones and that we would know 6 months in if we actually liked each other and wanted to give a relationship a go. A just nodded and said she understood. Well, I wasn’t keeping track of how long we were dating, but 6 months in she got me a card and a gift (it was a necklace with a heart charm on it). Her message was simple. It was 6 months, and she was sure she wanted to be with me, but understood if I needed more time and/or wasn’t sure I wanted to be in a relationship yet. She didn’t pressure me or expect anything, she just wanted me to know she was all in if I was interested. It was game over after that. A year later I proposed, and a year after that we were married.
A: When I watched her wipe the floor with my friends when they were playing pool. It was still fairly early, but I didn’t question it for a moment after that. She was my green ball in the something pocket I know nothing about pool. Abort. Abort.
What gift did you give your wife on your first Christmas together? What did she give you?
N: We aren’t Christmas people – but for our first anniversary I got her a PS4, and she got me jewelry I believe – earrings? Gosh. It’s been a while. We aren’t huge gift givers, we usually end up taking trips for special occasions now which is great.
A: Fuck if I know. I got her some nerd stuff. X-men complete editions, Mario lights, one of those types of things. She got me a Keurig when we were dating. And the next year I got a PS4. I’m making out like a bandit.
If your wife had a superhero power, what would it be? What would your power be?
N: Super strength. She is already super strong – and she was a ballerina when she was younger, her calves are still unreal to this day. But def that, super strength. Mine would be flight. I would love nothing more than to soaaaaar.
A: Being good all the time. Uncorruptable and Always Compassionate woman to save the day! Mine would be super strength. Or the ability to talk to animals. Can I just have both? I feel like I can pull off a hero with some depth.
What three words would you use to describe your wife?
N: Intelligent, Witty, and Affectionate
A: Compassionate, Driven, Acts with Integrity
I hope you all enjoyed this week's spotlight! If you haven't checked out, the podcast, do that right now! You won't be sorry!! (Link Below)
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