Throwback Thursday: Our First Date
In honor of the fact that this is right around the time that my wife and I had our first date six years ago (honestly, if you asked me to tell you the exact date, I couldn't without cheating. Take it easy on me - I at least know the date of when I officially asked her to be my girlfriend), I decided to make this blog entry about how the first date with my happily ever after really went down.
Pre-Date:
My wife and I met the same way any other self-respecting twenty-something meets these days - online. Our dating site of choice was okcupid since neither of us was willing to fork out extra cash for a catfish-free chance at true love. Speaking of which, I had already been catfished once and had also caught a potential catfish before we started chatting (honestly, who uses a picture from a groupon ad on their dating profile), so to say I was skeptical before meeting my now wife would be an understatement. For that reason, I decided she would come to me. She had recently mentioned wanting to go to a bar with games, so I asked if she wanted to go into the city (Philly) to Dave and Busters for our first date. Of course I didn't call it a date. I didn't have the confidence for that. It probably went more like, "So umm since you've been dying to play games and we, you know, should probably both eat, what if you and I went to Dave and Busters for, like, some games and food?" She agreed and it was set that she was going to come to me at 5 and then we would take a train into the city. By almost 6:00, she still hadn't left her house yet. Not knowing that I was destined to a life of checking my watch a thousand times and getting EVERYWHERE late, I figured she was trying to back out. Luckily, just a little before 7, she called to tell me that she had arrived at my apartment complex. I told my roommate and friend that if I wasn't back upstairs in five minutes, they should call the cops. Luckily, they didn't have to since it turned out the person I had been talking to really was a 25 year old girl and not a 40 year old man.
Date Time:
Now that I had confirmed she was a legitimate person and had gotten a big thumbs up from both my friend and roommate, we headed to the train. Once we were in the city, I looked to my future wife to ask how we navigate to get to the restaurant. I had just moved into a suburb of Philly a few months ago for school and had otherwise lived in super small cowtowns. My wife, however, had lived near Philly her entire life, yet still just shrugged her shoulders at me. After giving up on figuring out the subways, we decided to hail a cab (and by we, I mean me since my wife, the self proclaimed "city girl" didn't know how). Of course, being a Saturday night in the city, D&B was packed so we decided to eat at the loud bar instead of waiting for a table. I spent the whole dinner nodding my head, pretending to hear anything the pretty girl in front of me was saying (But really, has anything changed). When the bartender gave us the check, I awkwardly took it and mumbled something like "Um, I can pay. I mean, you traveled to me."
We made our way down to the arcade, at which point she paid for our game card and I started to question in my head Is this a date if we both pay? Are we just on a friendly outing? completely ignoring the fact that we had met on an online DATING site. I was able to lighten up a bit as we played games and had some drinks.
After we were all gamed out, we made our way to a bar to meet some of my friends. As we walked toward the bar, all of my "Is this really a date" questions were answered when she grabbed my hand. If she had any "Is this girl a complete lightweight?" questions, they were answered soon after, when she ordered us both a shot of tequila. Although I was 24 at this point, I hadn't actually started drinking until I was 23 and I had yet to take a tequila shot, two points that my date had not yet learned about me. She learned pretty quickly, when after only a few minutes, I was leaning into her due to the fact that I couldn't exactly stand up straight.
Now that I was sufficiently drunk, my inner awkwardness was free to come out even more. I turned away from my date to ask my friend what I was supposed to do next. This girl was pretty and cool and actually seemed to enjoy me, so I was at a loss. My future wife interrupted by tapping me on the shoulder and pulling me over to her. "Are you asking her how to get rid of me?" she joked, the flirtation going completely over my head. "Oh..Of..Of course not," I stumbled. "I was just telling her that you are absolutely awesome and I'm super awkward and have no clue what I'm doing and no idea what I'm supposed to do next..." Before I could continue my ramble, she pulled me closer and started to kiss me. And boy, was it a kiss. It's not the tequila shot talking when I tell you that I saw stars from that kiss.
I wish I could say that the kiss brought out a suave, more confident side of me. I'd love to tell you about the smooth words that left my lips after hers were off of mine. But that would be a lie. What was my response? Oh you know, I just got what I had to imagine was a ridiculously goofy smile on my face and said, "Oh my God. Do you know how long it's been since I've done that?!" I'm not sure if I took that time to actually tell her that the last time I had actually made out with anyone was a guy in a bar over a year earlier, that I had drunkenly kissed after telling him all about coming out to my parents and about my ex that I was still in love with (the only other person that I had ever made out with) after two years. Side note: Shout out to that guy. You da real MVP for listening to that and you deserve to be able to tell your friends you made out with a lesbian after enduring that.
After Party:
Even though my post kiss revelation had freaked her out a bit and she later admitted that she thought she was "corrupting" me, she still agreed to come back to my apartment with me as originally planned. Pre-tequila shot Erica had said she was welcome to crash on the futon in my living room since I knew she wouldn't be able to drive home after our night out. Post-tequila shot Erica was sitting in the back of the cab giggling and texting my friends, "Guess who is having an adult sleepover biotches?!"
When we finally made it back to my apartment, I offered to make her a fancy post-bar meal of canned ravioli, at which point she asked me to sprinkle some parmigiana cheese on top and I got a bit worried about whether this girl was going to be high maintenance (spoiler alert: she is).
The rest of the night was spent talking (yes seriously) in my twin size bed. Yep, I was the idiot who decided to buy a twin size bed for my grad school apartment. Like any normal, non-clingy, totally not stereotypical u-hauling lesbian couple, we ended our date at 5pm the next day.
As I sit in our new house (with our dog on my lap) after now being married for almost 8 months, I guess it's safe to say that the rest is history after that. Let this be a lesson to all of my fellow nerdy, awkward lesbians, who are just stumbling through this whole dating thing: There is a girl out there who will somehow fall for you (even as you're tripping over your own feet).
Pre-Date:
My wife and I met the same way any other self-respecting twenty-something meets these days - online. Our dating site of choice was okcupid since neither of us was willing to fork out extra cash for a catfish-free chance at true love. Speaking of which, I had already been catfished once and had also caught a potential catfish before we started chatting (honestly, who uses a picture from a groupon ad on their dating profile), so to say I was skeptical before meeting my now wife would be an understatement. For that reason, I decided she would come to me. She had recently mentioned wanting to go to a bar with games, so I asked if she wanted to go into the city (Philly) to Dave and Busters for our first date. Of course I didn't call it a date. I didn't have the confidence for that. It probably went more like, "So umm since you've been dying to play games and we, you know, should probably both eat, what if you and I went to Dave and Busters for, like, some games and food?" She agreed and it was set that she was going to come to me at 5 and then we would take a train into the city. By almost 6:00, she still hadn't left her house yet. Not knowing that I was destined to a life of checking my watch a thousand times and getting EVERYWHERE late, I figured she was trying to back out. Luckily, just a little before 7, she called to tell me that she had arrived at my apartment complex. I told my roommate and friend that if I wasn't back upstairs in five minutes, they should call the cops. Luckily, they didn't have to since it turned out the person I had been talking to really was a 25 year old girl and not a 40 year old man.
Date Time:
Now that I had confirmed she was a legitimate person and had gotten a big thumbs up from both my friend and roommate, we headed to the train. Once we were in the city, I looked to my future wife to ask how we navigate to get to the restaurant. I had just moved into a suburb of Philly a few months ago for school and had otherwise lived in super small cowtowns. My wife, however, had lived near Philly her entire life, yet still just shrugged her shoulders at me. After giving up on figuring out the subways, we decided to hail a cab (and by we, I mean me since my wife, the self proclaimed "city girl" didn't know how). Of course, being a Saturday night in the city, D&B was packed so we decided to eat at the loud bar instead of waiting for a table. I spent the whole dinner nodding my head, pretending to hear anything the pretty girl in front of me was saying (But really, has anything changed). When the bartender gave us the check, I awkwardly took it and mumbled something like "Um, I can pay. I mean, you traveled to me."
We made our way down to the arcade, at which point she paid for our game card and I started to question in my head Is this a date if we both pay? Are we just on a friendly outing? completely ignoring the fact that we had met on an online DATING site. I was able to lighten up a bit as we played games and had some drinks.
After we were all gamed out, we made our way to a bar to meet some of my friends. As we walked toward the bar, all of my "Is this really a date" questions were answered when she grabbed my hand. If she had any "Is this girl a complete lightweight?" questions, they were answered soon after, when she ordered us both a shot of tequila. Although I was 24 at this point, I hadn't actually started drinking until I was 23 and I had yet to take a tequila shot, two points that my date had not yet learned about me. She learned pretty quickly, when after only a few minutes, I was leaning into her due to the fact that I couldn't exactly stand up straight.
Now that I was sufficiently drunk, my inner awkwardness was free to come out even more. I turned away from my date to ask my friend what I was supposed to do next. This girl was pretty and cool and actually seemed to enjoy me, so I was at a loss. My future wife interrupted by tapping me on the shoulder and pulling me over to her. "Are you asking her how to get rid of me?" she joked, the flirtation going completely over my head. "Oh..Of..Of course not," I stumbled. "I was just telling her that you are absolutely awesome and I'm super awkward and have no clue what I'm doing and no idea what I'm supposed to do next..." Before I could continue my ramble, she pulled me closer and started to kiss me. And boy, was it a kiss. It's not the tequila shot talking when I tell you that I saw stars from that kiss.
I wish I could say that the kiss brought out a suave, more confident side of me. I'd love to tell you about the smooth words that left my lips after hers were off of mine. But that would be a lie. What was my response? Oh you know, I just got what I had to imagine was a ridiculously goofy smile on my face and said, "Oh my God. Do you know how long it's been since I've done that?!" I'm not sure if I took that time to actually tell her that the last time I had actually made out with anyone was a guy in a bar over a year earlier, that I had drunkenly kissed after telling him all about coming out to my parents and about my ex that I was still in love with (the only other person that I had ever made out with) after two years. Side note: Shout out to that guy. You da real MVP for listening to that and you deserve to be able to tell your friends you made out with a lesbian after enduring that.
After Party:
Even though my post kiss revelation had freaked her out a bit and she later admitted that she thought she was "corrupting" me, she still agreed to come back to my apartment with me as originally planned. Pre-tequila shot Erica had said she was welcome to crash on the futon in my living room since I knew she wouldn't be able to drive home after our night out. Post-tequila shot Erica was sitting in the back of the cab giggling and texting my friends, "Guess who is having an adult sleepover biotches?!"
When we finally made it back to my apartment, I offered to make her a fancy post-bar meal of canned ravioli, at which point she asked me to sprinkle some parmigiana cheese on top and I got a bit worried about whether this girl was going to be high maintenance (spoiler alert: she is).
The rest of the night was spent talking (yes seriously) in my twin size bed. Yep, I was the idiot who decided to buy a twin size bed for my grad school apartment. Like any normal, non-clingy, totally not stereotypical u-hauling lesbian couple, we ended our date at 5pm the next day.
As I sit in our new house (with our dog on my lap) after now being married for almost 8 months, I guess it's safe to say that the rest is history after that. Let this be a lesson to all of my fellow nerdy, awkward lesbians, who are just stumbling through this whole dating thing: There is a girl out there who will somehow fall for you (even as you're tripping over your own feet).
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